Anxiety … Unease … Peace Prevails

For the past week, my mind, body, and heart have been in an accelerated, anxious state, as I prepare for my journey to Thailand for Peace Revolution’s Global Peace On The Move 8 Fellowship. Once there, I will be learning Inner Peace Techniques with people from all around the world, learning from experienced teachers and Buddhist monks.

Well, the journey to Inner Peace hasn’t always looked so peaceful! I am learning as I go about just what accommodations I need to make, and taking care of all the considerations of the fellowship retreat. This has involved continual time spent shopping, using the computer, and little sleep.

Also … little meditation.

I have grown very stressed as my nervousness kicks in about the unknown. I don’t even know what to expect from the retreat experience itself. Much is unknown, and every contact I have has told me not to expect anything, that it will all be glorious.

It has been a time of balancing relieving expectations while at the same time taking due diligence with certain matters that need attention.

In the midst of all this, I am of course still heading to work each day, and applying myself to those matters. Today, preparing for work, I noted to myself how I had not meditated fully in a few days, and I felt all the tensions in my body, how it pervaded every thought muscle, and breath. I decided to take the time to meditate for five minutes before heading out the door.

As I walked into the meditation room, a room I hadn’t entered for most of the week, and took a bow, I felt I was returning somewhere deep within me. As I lit the two candles in beside the altar, I felt the rigidity of my hands, the hurriedness of my hands. As I lit the incense stick from the candle flame, I felt the scent take me to a place in my being that I knew was always there, but had not touched in a while. I felt myself fixating mentally again, this time on the length of the session I was beginning. “What if this is not long enough? I suspect that for the full five minutes I will only be anxious about not having more time to still my mind. Then it will be over, I will be at a loss, and will feel hurried onto the next engagement.”

I took another bow, and sat down on the cushion.

I folded my legs, felt my spine straighten, and by the sheer posture of my body, my mental posture transformed almost immediately. I felt my spine was erected straight into the heavens, rooted to the earth, and perfectly balanced in gravity. This stillness, this physical rootedness, brought me to the calm of the ocean floor, well beneath the choppy surface of the waves.

I smiled as I noticed how quickly I reached stillness. Within seconds. By the end of the five minutes, I had become centered, in time, in myself. No longer was I coming or going, I felt rooted in my own motion as I stepped out to work.

I realized here, on this cushion, the value of my experience practicing meditation regularly since the beginning of this year. During one of the more frantic weeks in my life, I can touch this stillness, without question, amidst it all, and smile at my own being.

I also wish to express gratitude for the meditation room itself. The sacredness, the atmosphere and state of mind that this room commands, centers me just by walking in. Its effect and sheer importance in my life become apparent during the more unexpected moments in time.

This gratitude for having the space at all is what has driven me to create Inner Peace & Tea. I wish to share the space, and the opportunities that it brings forth.

All the same, I hope you can create a meditation room, or even a corner in a room that is sacred and used only for meditation, and experience the same experience as I.

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2 thoughts on “Anxiety … Unease … Peace Prevails

  1. Pingback: inner peace & tea

  2. hey Max, I just ended a sessions thinking how important is to have a proper room and time to meditate. My house is almost always crowded and some sessions become just and exercise to find silence between the noise, and patience in the middle of the hurricane. Anyway, each session is a gift and an exercise, today I felt how important is to try to still the mind, doesn´t matter where we arrive in the end. The process always teach me something :) I wish you nice processes, and brilliant days!

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